


The Pre-Pain

by venueska



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Break Up, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24499618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/venueska/pseuds/venueska
Summary: (Requested by Anon) Bobby knows the end for your pair is near, it’s only a matter of time. His mind runs wild trying to prepare himself for it, but no scenario compares to the pain of the real deal.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	The Pre-Pain

The intricacies about you were enough to light up Bobby’s whole world. Your smile dazzled the whole room, but he was willing to bet they didn’t adore it anywhere close to as much as he did. The way your eyes crinkled up when you were on the verge of telling the punchline of a joke, the way your nose pinched up when you were lost in thought… it brought him to a high he simply couldn’t describe.

Allowing himself to get so giddy over the smallest expressions displayed by you came with a price, however. He couldn’t miss the way your lip twitched upward when an unintentionally inappropriate joke went unnoticed, but similarly, he couldn’t miss the roll of your eyes or your exhausted sighs, either. His emotions didn’t skip a beat, but his heart did when he understood that he was the reason.

It was unspoken, but it wasn’t untrue. You were growing tired of him.

He spent time alone in early mornings, caught in a brainstorm, wondering how he could salvage this. Even with his arms wrapped around you, he felt worlds apart from you, and he wasn’t dense. It was only a matter of time before you broke the news to him.

And so, next, Bobby started to wonder how you would say it. He started to play out the many different ways you might attempt to let him down easy in his head, hoping he might be able to pick a favorite - the least painful - and most of all, hoping he would be fortunate enough to receive that one.

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

A lie, of course, but he asks himself now whether he would rather you break it to him softly, as a display of respect for his emotions, instead of detailing to him the ornate specifics of _why, why, why_.

Then again, even if you didn’t rattle them off…

They would still exist. But what were they? He had his suspicions. Being honest, he wanted to know. Not so that he could fix them but – well… Maybe so that he could fix them. But what good would it do? 

He shook his head, trying to dismiss that idea in the dark. He tightens his arms around you. Maybe there was nothing wrong with him at all. Maybe there was simply someone else in the Villa that you simply liked more. This thought is not any more comforting than the thought that he’s deeply flawed, because now, he’s abundantly aware of how he’s clearly not suited for you if he’s stood up beside every and any other guy in the Villa.

You were perfect for him but, if he was being honest, he was never going to fit into your life. He couldn’t be selfish, keeping you held down to somebody who was nowhere close to what you deserved, even if it would kill him to let you walk away. Not only would you be walking away from him, but you’d likely be walking toward somebody else. Someone he knew. Someone in this room.

His eyes darted around the room as his mind starts to race. _Maybe that’s her plan._ The next recoupling was looming, even if he wasn’t totally sure when it would come. Jakub and Chelsea were the newbies, so it was likely that they would get first choice.

His heart stops. His mouth goes dry. He suddenly feels ill picturing you with Jakub, who is Bobby’s polar opposite on paper. Tall, muscly, blue-eyed… A total dream boat. Next to him, Bobby was the pauper. 

On second thought, you hadn’t spoken to Jakub once. So it was unlikely that your head was ever turned by Jakub, even if it wasn’t impossible. He recites the names of the other Villa boys, trying to pair everyone up in his mind, committing every chat he’d witnessed to memory. Before he even gets the chance, light spills into the room and the Islanders come alive around him.

Your eyes flutter open and you register Bobby’s presence. You give him an elusive smile and pull away, excusing yourself to stretch out your arms and your spine.

Bobby eyes your every move, inspecting it for a mere _crumb_ of desire to be near to him, to speak to him, but your silence competes with the excited buzz of the much happier couples around you. Bobby tugs the blanket beneath your bum to try and get your attention. The look you give him is briefly startled, but otherwise unreadable.

Bobby forces a smile that he means to look whole, even gentle, but it’s clear to the other Islanders who care to notice that his lopsided smile is sadder than normal.

“Breakfast in bed, lass?” he asks you. You’re strapping on your mic for the day, hardly sparing him a glance.

Your response is curt and almost cold. “No, I’m fine. Thanks.”

He watches you saunter off toward the dressing rooms, ignoring the sympathetic glances from his friends.

“She’s not a morning person,” Priya tries to assure him. Bobby’s gaze drops to the sheets where you were just moments ago. 

“She used to be.” It sounds so dramatic to be talking about you like this, as if you were an old couple growing apart. But it only sounds as dramatic as it feels. He finally meets Priya’s eye, trying not to sound too crestfallen when he asks her, “Am I….” He frowns at the incomplete thought. “Am I _too_ caring?”

Priya doesn’t answer, playing with the duvet in her hands. “She likes you,” she promises half-heartedly.

When he sees you next, you’re making your way to one of the bean bags the boys have moved to the pool. You take a seat between Priya and Lottie and start to sip your water bottle, choosing not to contribute to the banter of the other islanders.

Lottie looks over at Bobby on the sun loungers and waves him over.

“You reckon she’ll get up as soon as I join them?” Bobby mutters to Noah as they walk over. Noah laughs dryly and claps Bobby on the shoulder.

His assumption isn’t worth betting money on, but he’s close. As Bobby approaches, you study him behind tinted sunglasses and rise from your bean bag, saying something indecipherable to Priya, who stares blankly at the pool.

“Bobby,” she says loudly. “Can we have a chat?”

The chatter from the other Islanders draws a flatline just then. Bobby can’t help but feel like the walk to the fire pit is his own funeral march.

Heart pounding, Bobby bites his tongue and waits for you to summon the nerve to break the news to him. His mind throws every possibility in his face, but he’s eerily aware that he doesn’t need to guess for much longer how this is going to go. The moment has come – the longest moment in the world.

“This hasn’t been easy,” you start, knitting your hands in your lap. Bobby studies your face, trying to capture every microexpression. If he tries, maybe he can catch a second of hesitation, a flicker of hope in your eyes that begs him to fight for you, to catch your hand just as you’re walking away… “I think this is the hardest decision I’ve ever made, but I had to make it for your sake, because you deserve better.”

“There’s no one better than you,” he cuts in, shaking his head sadly. You pause, pursing your lips and blinking back tears. 

“You deserve someone who loves you, though.” Your hands drop limply in your lap and you stare at them for a second. “And it’s not that hard a task. But I have to be honest with myself if I’m going to find love in here and…” You look him in the eye and he wishes you wouldn’t. If you couldn’t look at him, maybe you’d be lying. But there’s no mystery to it. This really is the end. “Bobby, I don’t love you.”

He begs you, silently, to stop there. The next words out of your mouth might just kill him.

“I tried, though,” you continue, however, and he thinks that maybe this is the saddest way you could have picked to break up with him. _I don’t love you, but I really tried._ “You’re terrific. But I keep thinking about the future and…” Is that pity in your eyes? “This probably sounds proper muggy if you didn’t feel the same way. I don’t think we would have worked.” You motion between you.

Bobby’s face suddenly feels very heavy, as if his cheeks are being weighted down by a thousand pounds, forbidding any attempt at a smile. Still, he forces one.

“That’s it then, isn’t it?” He stares at the fire pit and can’t help but identify with its uselessness in daylight. “If you’re not feeling it, I can’t ask you to fake it, can I?” 

He pretends there aren’t tears in your eyes. He pretends even harder that his eyes aren’t a mirror to that. He’s not much, you’ve just proved that. But he’s a master in the art of pretending to be happy, so he channels that.

“So what’s next for you?” he asks, holding up a fist for you to bump. He masks over any bitterness that might seep into his voice with Sarcastic White-Out when he asks a follow up question, “Surely there’s got to be a reason you were rushed to do this. What’s the next recoupling look like for you?”

Your smile falters and you shake your head. “That’s not fair, Bobby. I wasn’t just ending things with you because I have feelings for somebody else. I’d have made that clear, I’m upfront. You know me.”

He reciprocates your honesty. “Do I, though?”

And perhaps he had gotten ahead of himself in his predictions of this moment, but perhaps the most crucifying part of walking away is being the one who walks. Because he’s not sure where to go. He’s not sure where to stand or sit, because his default was to be next to you. 

The unborn ghost of the words he might have once said linger on his lips, a decision he considers for the first time.

_Without her, do I really have a purpose in here?_

He tunes back into his one useful talent.

He pretends the answer isn’t no.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that hurts you as much as it hurts me. Let me know what you think in the comments or in my inbox on Tumblr (@venueska there too)!


End file.
